One year

In love, there is no right and wrong but only if the timing is right or not.  I think maybe we met at a good time but it may not be the right time.  And everything between us grew so quick that you cannot keep up the speed while I ran too fast.  Flame was out so easily like flash.  I ever want to tight us back and you want to keep us close.  It seemed our aims are the same but indeed, our desires are difference.  

One year passed and I still cannot forget you.  Next month is your birthday; is that the reason why I think of you so much these days?  The happiness we had come back to my mind.  I cannot get rid of those memories.  

I thought that I know you so much but I found out that I never really know you.  It is not important if I understand and know you enough now because you are not here anymore.  There will be one day, I will forget you totally.

Time heals

You know I love to look up the sky finding those lovely clouds moving high above my head.  I love to close my eyes to enjoy the wind touching my face gently.   You told me that you were attracted by me for this action of looking up the sky.  Do you know that I did not enjoy this lovely moment since early last year?  I forgot how calm and quiet it was inside me when I was doing it.

There was one day, I closed my eyes and stood in the middle of the street having my head up to feel the wind, the sunshine and the peaceful environment.   I love the feeling; I missed that feeling.   I can feel the peace again.  Does that mean wound was healed?  Or just I have forgotten the pain?   Everyone say that time heals.  No matter if it is mental or physical scar, it can be healed one day.  

Forget or Forgive

It has been over eight months.  What is going on with me? I thought I was moving on quite well.  However, I still think of you sometimes; especially on this holiday.   Everyone tells me when I meet someone new, I will have no such feeling over you anymore.  Is that true?  I am not sure, maybe.

There was one night when I was alone at Tromso, I heard you called my name 'mama Tse'.  That made me felt so sad.  I cried.  I went some places that we didn't visited before.  And, I thought of you.     You promised me to bring me somewhere I can see snow.   You cannot keep this promise and I go and see my snow.  I saw it and it reminded you to me.   On my trip, I met a lot of people.  Couples, families, groups of pals, all of them reminded you to me.

I know I am silly to remember the old times, old memories.....is that really old?  Memeories back to eight months before?  Old?  Is that true that I have to forget/forgive you then I can move on well?  I dun know.  Maybe move on is 'To forget' more than 'To forgive'.

Memories

Everyone's life is full of memories, good and bad, happy and sad.  We cannot cut memories out.  

It was a hard year for me and I tried to live happily.  The only way that make me happy is to "forget" you.  We had a lot of happy memories and I cannot deny that there was sadness too.  I used six months to keep myself away from moody emotion and move on to a life without you.  It is not easy.  However, I know that past is past; gone is gone.  I am now working hard to put all the past memories into a drawer of my mind.  I will lock it up.  I promise that I will live happier and happier.  I will not let you worry anymore.

You are my angel

It rained yesterday, heavy rains.  You still sitting there for your request and your dream.   Why you do it?  Are you do it for yourself?  No, you do it for us.  You do it because you think it is for our good.  I did not join you, I am sorry.  

In the very beginning, I did not agree you to go out.  However, I know no one can keep you stay home now.  I keep my heart with you.  I pray for your safety and wait for your good news.  

I love you and thank you for doing everything for us.

So sad

You are out there sitting since yesterday.  I went to work for a whole day.  I care about your safety.  I know that you are following your heart to do what you think is right.  I cannot say I fully support you but I respect you and your will.

We never know what will happen tomorrow.  Let's wait and see and keep hope for a better tomorrow, ok?

Please remember, I LOVE YOU!  I would not forget this day, September 28.

Flying again

Hey,

I am planning my next trip again, a trip without you.  It may be a trip with snow, but I am not sure because every time I visit a place with snow, snow does not snow.

I thought of flying to Estonia during the Christmas time, however I not yet ready for that country.  I will go to Tromso of Norway.  Will that surprise you, again?  I want to chase after snow and the light.  I want to see the magic sky at that very northern place.  

Did I tell you about my dream of seeing the Aurora with you?  This year is the eleven years of this cycle of the Aurora.  It will be less easy to meet the Aurora starts from next year.  I do not want to lose the chance.  I will capture the beauty with my eyes and camera for you and I.  That will be a nice moment in my life.  I hope that you could feel it and see it too.